Snail Equals Snail (Spongebob Squarepants Fanfiction)
Snail Equals Snail Synopsis - Gary The Snail tries to have a playdate with Snelie without Squidward and Spongebob knowing. Characters Gary The Snail Snellie Spongebob Squarepants Squidward Tentacles Patrick Star Rocky Illuminati Kid Eugene H. Krabs (cameo) The Story The story begins with Gary entering the pineapple house’s living room. The subordinate shellback creature has a huge smile on his face before pulling out his phone. After a few moments of waiting, it rings and the caller is Snellie. Gary’s smile widens and he answers. GARY: Meow Meow! (Hello Snellie!) SNELLIE: Meow Meow! (Hi Gary!) GARY: Meow Meow Meow Meow? (What are you doing?) SNELLIE: Meow, Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow (Relaxing, and I just peed on Squidward’s plant) GARY: Meow, Meow Meow Meow (Good, He deserves it) SNELLIE: Meow Meow Meow (That he does) GARY: Meow, Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow? (So, do you want to hang out?) SNELLIE: Meow, Meow Meow Meow! (Sure, that sounds splendid!) GARY: Meow! Meow Meow Meow! (Alright, see you soon!) Gary hangs up, eats up a quick snack, finishes drinking a glass of snail milk and fixes his bowtie. GARY: Meow Meow Meow (Let’s do this) Gary slithers out of the pineapple house but as he heads towards Squidward’s lawn, he sees Spongebob & Squidward facing against each other. SPONGEBOB: Squidward! I am sick of you always making fun of my GARE-BEAR! SQUIDWARD: That mutt has bothered me for the last time! Always peeing on my plants & eating my spices, that ugly thing you call a pet should’ve been exterminated long ago! SPONGEBOB: Snellie ain’t so sweet either! I am convinced that she breaks into my house every day while I’m at work to use my TV! It's always on and wasting electricity! SQUIDWARD: I’M GOING TO GO TAKE A BATH! SPONGEBOB: DON’T FORGET YOUR RUBBER DUCKY LIKE THE TWO YEAR OLD YOU ARE!! SQUIDWARD: To Davy Jones Locker with ya! SPONGEBOB: You should’ve went away for good when you scream blown that big bubble & went to the Great Beyond! Spongebob grabs Gary and they head back to the pineapple. SPONGEBOB: Come on Gary! I do not want you around Snellie & her loser owner! GARY: Meow?! (What?!) Spongebob forces Gary inside & slams his door shut. Squidward angrily stomps upstairs and as he is turning his bubbly soap machine on in his bathtub, he notices Snellie looking out the windows in his bedroom toward the Squarepants residence. Squidward walks up, picks up Snellie & restrains her to her snail bed. SQUIDWARD: You are not allowed in the presence of those Moronic Maniacs! If you resist, I am taking you off those Premiums! SNELLIE: Meow! (No!) Squidward angrily stomps away while muttering to himself but before he does, he blocks the windows with his gray and uninviting blinds. Squid then locks himself in his bathroom and goes off to his bathtub venture. Spongebob angrily begins cooking lunch in his kitchen. While applying some tomatoes & sea cucumbers to a healthy meal he is making, He still angrily mutters about Squidward. SPONGEBOB: Stupid Squidward & his jerkiness! He makes me so sick! Bah to him! Gary watches Spongebob angrily cook his meal and begins to look sad that his playdate with Snellie is now ruined. Snellie, after some struggle, eventually breaks free from her bed, quietly slithers past the bathroom while hearing Squidward scream from being hit with so much hot water. SQUIDWARD(to himself): TURN IT DOWN A NOTCH! TURN IT DOWN A NOTCH! Snellie goes downstairs, devours Squidward’s cashews bowl & then sneaks outside. She slithers past her owner’s scarecrow, over a wooden fence & lands in Spongebob’s yard. She slithers up to the pineapple house window and spots Gary sulking on the couch inside. She bangs her eyestalks on the window to let him know what’s up. Gary smiles upon her appearance. GARY: Meow! (Snellie!) SNELLIE: Meow! Meow Meow Meow Meow! (Quick! Use the snail door!) Before Gary could slither through the door, Spongebob walks in having had overheard his joyous meow. Snellie hides from sight. SPONGEBOB: Gary? Why are you heading to the door? GARY: Meow Meow Meow SPONGEBOB: You gotta pee? GARY: Meow! SPONGEBOB: Are you sneaking off to see Snellie after I specifically said you cannot?! GARY: Meow! SPONGEBOB: No? ………. Okay, carry on! Lalalala! Spongebob skips back into the Kitchen while Gary breathes a sigh of relief and slips right out the snail door. Him & Snellie meet and embrace in a purr by rubbing their eyestalks together. GARY: Meow Meow Meow (Together at last) SNELLIE: Meow, Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow, Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow (Indeed, and your owner is so dumb, he makes Patrick look like a rocket scientist!) GARY: Meow, Meow! (Yeah, Patrick!) Gary then forms a plan. GARY: Meow Meow! Meow! (That’s it! Patrick!) SNELLIE: Meow Meow, Meow? (What about Patrick) GARY: Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow! (We can have our playdate at Patrick’s rock!) SNELLIE: Meow! Meow Meow! (Yes! Good idea!) GARY: Meow Meow! (Let’s go!) The scene cuts to Gary & Snellie greeting Patrick at his rock. PATRICK: So you guys want to have a date at my house? GARY & SNELLIE: Meow! PATRICK(picking up a smaller rock the same color as his house): No problem! I have to go and take Rocky for a walk! Patrick heads out with Rocky and puts him on a leash. He tries to walk the rock but can’t muster enough strength to drag it. A little kid walks by and sees this. KID: Why are you trying to walk a rock you stupid starfish?! Hahaha! PATRICK: This is no rock! This is Rocky! My pet who has nerves of steel! KID: And an owner with a brain smaller than a pebble. The kid walks away snickering while Patrick is left shocked. PATRICK: How did she know my brain size?! She must be with the Illuminati! Patrick, despite being weaker earlier, uses enough strength to pick up the rock & walk on by in a paranoid manner thinking he is being watched. Gary & Snellie relax in Patrick’s Living Room and proceed through on a nice date watching Snail tunes on TV & playing with plenty of toys. Gary & Snellie chew on a single piece of spaghetti. Before the classic romantic trope could take place, Gary simply just cuts the spaghetti strand in half with some scissors. Gary & Snellie use their snail phones to send several romantic text messages to each other. The two snails also raid the refrigerator & eat all of the Krabby Patties inside. MR.KRABS(showing up out of nowhere): Ahem Gary reluctantly pays Mr.Krabs $10. Snellie & Gary continue to do more snail activities. After a nice hour of doing what they want, they lay on top of Patrick’s rock staring at the sunset with fulfilled lives. Squidward finally finishes his bathing. He exits the bathroom and considers heading down to his living room but decides he must apologize to Snellie first. Squidward enters his bedroom. SQUIDWARD: Snellie, while I still loathe Spongebob & Gary with great pleasure, I am sorry for.. Squidward then pauses when he sees the broken off chains & other restraints Snellie had freed herself from. Spongebob finishes having his healthy snack & decides to text Gary telling him it is time to come home. No answer. SPONGEBOB: Huh? Spongebob tries again but still gets no answer. SPONGEBOB: Gary? Why are you not answering my messages? You almost never do this except when… Spongebob then realizes that Gary had lied to him and has snuck off to see Snellie. SPONGEBOB: Gary The Snail! You are so busted! Before Gary & Snellie could continue enjoying the remainder of their evening, they hear Squidward scream angrily. SQUIDWARD: SNELLIE!!!! SNELLIE: Meow! (Squidward!) Squidward walks up on Patrick’s rock & grabs Snellie. SQUIDWARD: I specifically locked you in the house and yet you still manage to break free & spend time with this smelly unpedigreed mutt! Gary & Squidward confront each other. GARY: Mrowwww!! SQUIDWARD: What are you going to do Great Snail Race loser?! Gary begins pounding Squidward with his eyestalks in the form a hammer. Spongebob then rushes up. SPONGEBOB: Get away from that witch Gary! Spongebob grabs Gary & begins to console him while Squidward does the same with Snellie. However, Spongebob & Squidward then face each other and name call each other. SPONGEBOB: Witch Boy! SQUIDWARD: Cheesehead! SPONGEBOB: Slightly Larger Than Average Nose! SQUIDWARD: Holes! Gary finally has enough. GARY: MEOWWWW!!!!! SPONGEBOB: Gary! GARY: Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow! (You two are both idiots!) SQUIDWARD: Me an idiot?! I take resentment at that! SPONGEBOB: Gary! Why are you calling me an idiot?! Snellie then joins in on the argument. SNELLIE: Meow Meow Meow Meow! SQUIDWARD: Spongebob started it! GARY: MEOW! SPONGEBOB: But Gary! I just didn’t want you to hang out with the pet of somebody I am in a fight with! SNELLIE: Meow Meow! SQUIDWARD: Stop fighting? SPONGEBOB: Or else? GARY: Meow! SQUIDWARD: You will expel all over us while we are sleeping?! SNELLIE: Meow! Spongebob & Squidward remain dumbfounded but then realize that they have been acting too immature. They then face each other and let it all out. SPONGEBOB: I’m sorry for the things I said Squidward, I just don’t like it when you make fun of Gary. SQUIDWARD: Perhaps I did go a bit too far this time, Gary is still a menace to me and all, but we shouldn’t interrupt the love life between him & my Snellie. GARY & SNELLIE: Meow! Spongebob & Squidward simply shake hands signalling peace between them & the end of their fight. Gary & Snellie breathe a sigh of relief. SPONGEBOB: Well, this evening is still young, let’s go eat some healthy organic choices! SQUIDWARD: Ooh let me get some of that! My favorite! Spongebob & Squidward run off to enjoy their meal while Gary & Snellie shudder in disgust since they gross out at their owner’s food choices. Gary & Snellie decide to continue feeding on the Krabby Patties when they happen to notice Patrick stationed across the street wearing an “Anti Triangle” shirt and having had put another on Rocky. PATRICK: You will not watch us Illuminati! Category:SquidwardTentacles35